i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
