no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
