just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He did a backflip because drugs
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
