its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
