I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
