Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
