I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
