Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
