the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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