Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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