I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
