it wasn't lemon gatorade
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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