I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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