Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
