eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
