dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
