I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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