Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
