How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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