i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
be right there i have to get my cape
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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