After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
