You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
