I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Say something about gay babies.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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