he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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