No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
