I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
