Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My hand turned me down
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Randomize
