Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
