idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
