my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
