Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
