I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
