: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
