I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
fuck your aforementioned shoe
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My vagina is officially offended.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
