when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
