Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
