Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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