My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
