it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize