I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
