Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
