idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
