Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
