Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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