CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
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I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
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I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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