I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
