You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
