Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
how drunk are you?
Several
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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