You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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