i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
