hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
