i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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