Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize