you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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