I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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