in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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