I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
