What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
