dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
