I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
