Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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