I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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