Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
