I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
